Missing
by kairiz
Summary: Sora misses Axel. Or is it Roxas?


"_I just wanted to see Roxas again."_

_Who? What?_

"_He made me feel… like I had a heart."_

_Roxas. _

_Roxasss. _

Sora flung himself up on his bed, and out of his dream filled slumber. His breaths came in quick pants, salty tears mingling with the sweat that had gathered on his face and rolled down his flushed cheeks.

It was the dream. Again.

The dream of the flamed haired bossy member of Organisation 13 and the moment he disintegrated into nothingness. Although the wispy black tendrils had long disappeared, Sora's heart twisted unbearably with a strange emotion he could not describe. Was it longing? Or sorrow? Or guilt? Maybe it was a combination of all of these emotions that left his heart pounding wildly into the night.

Sora clenched his hands, gripping the worn covers of his bed, squeezing his eyes shut as if to squeeze out that cheeky smile, that head of fiery hair, that pair of lonely eyes.

Soon, his breathing had evened out and his heart rate had almost slowed down to normal. The night air breeze that wafted into his beach hut was cool and the wetness on his cheeks had long begun to evaporate. He glanced over to the still figure on the bed against the opposite wall and was relieved to find that he hadn't woken Riku up.

Already the dream has started to fade, as it always did. In the mornings, all of this would be nothing but a strange sense of grief, something Sora always put down to missing his adventures with friends made in the other worlds.

His head was starting to feel heavy again, his eyes beginning to shut. He moved to lie back down on the bed, but unbeknownst to him, his feet swung off the edge of the bed and touched to cool ground. Sand shifted and rolled between Sora's toes. His eyes opened slowly to reveal light turquoise irises, a shade greener than his own.

_It felt nice to feel the sand. _

_He never left for that beach holiday that summer. _

_He wriggled his toes and treasured the sensation of the cool powdery sand between them._

Finally standing up, he turned towards the doorway of the beach hut, and left.

Walking slowly towards the sea, Sora was drawn to the swishing waves, feet bringing him closer and closer to the edge of dry land. When his toes finally reached to damp sand, he paused, waiting. The wave rushed into the land and swept over his feet. The icy water then scurried back into the ocean, only to rush back out moments later.

The moon was bright this night, shining down on the dark watery depths, creating sparkles that shifted over the sea as the currents moved.

_We were like the sea. _

_We yearned for the moon to shine down on us. To give us a taste of the light. _

_But that was all we got. A taste of the light. _

_It could never penetrate our depths, nor could it fill us. _

_Instead, it teased and tormented us with its glow._

_Yet somehow leaving us empty._

A sharp pain struck Sora's kneecaps. He had fallen to the ground, knees hitting the cold hard sand that had been dampened by the tide. His hands had fallen next to him, shell bits and gravel cutting into his palm.

"_What does it mean by pain, Axel?"_

"_It's one of those damn emotions. Roxas, we are nobodies, give it up."_

_But he had pressed on; defining the indefinable emotions had eluded them. _

Sora's hands begun to tremble, still clawed into the sand. A strange lump had grown in his throat, pressing harshly against his windpipe, cutting into it as he swallowed. His shoulders had begun to shake too, chest burning as his heart squeezed and pounded. His breaths now came in gasps as he tried to force oxygen into the rapidly beating heart.

It felt like his eyes were on fire, stinging with tears, waiting to extinguish the flames.

Clouds drifted over the moon, darkening his surroundings, but Sora did not notice.

"_Roxas, remember the question you asked me long ago?"_

"_What question?"_

"_About pain?"_

"_Huh? That long ago?"_

"_Yah. Well, I think I finally figured out what it means."_

"_You do?"_

_Fair skin turned red as words stumbled out hesitantly over one another._

"_Pain is when you're not with me anymore."_

Lost memories.

Memories that should have never existed in the first place.

Sora's head was spinning, perhaps from the lack of oxygen, perhaps from the head rush as he bent over low into the sand.

The tide was slowly coming in, already lapping gently above his kneecaps, wetting his shorts with its light salty spray.

"_Hey Axel!"_

"_What's up?"_

"_Let's go get some ice-cream!"_

"_No way. It's not like we can really taste it. "_

"_Come on, you're no fun!"_

"_Kid, my middle name IS fun. Got it memorized?"_

Sora licked his lips gently, tasting the salty sweet taste of the treat he once took granted. Was this a dream? Was it possible?

The world's he had travelled, the places he had seen, the people he had met. Those were uncountable. Yet, only one place had the sea salt ice-cream.

"_Mmm… I was wrong, huh?"_

"_Hmm? Wha…?"_

"_I can taste… and it tastes good."_

_Then a warm pair of lips closed onto his and resumed the sweet forbidden kiss._

Tears were now dripping freely into the sea. First it was a tremble that reverberated around his body. It turned into shakes, then soon it took his huddled figure was shaking violently as the sea rose around him. Sobs and chokes escaped his throat as Sora fought back the urge to wail.

"_You really don't remember? It's me. You know, Axel."_

"_Axel?"_

The waves swept around his ankles.

"_This is...me? ...And Axel's here too."_

"_You ARE best friends..."_

His hand clutched wildly at the damp sand.

"_You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!"_

"_No one would miss me."_

"_That's not true... I would."_

"_Axel..."_

"_Let's meet again in the next life."_

"_Yeah. I'll be waiting."_

"_Silly. Just because you have a next life..."_

Sora couldn't hold back the cry that came to him. It burst out of his heart and right out of his throat. The guttural pain that overwhelmed him.

"Noooooo… …!!!!!"

Finally spent, Sora collapsed backward onto the sand, his lower body drench with sea water, while his upper body with sweat and tears. The sobs died down as he ran out of tears to cry. Lying spread eagle on the edge of the sea, he gazed up toward the moon.

His spoke but it came out more like a croak, his throat raw and beaten.

"I just want to see you too."

His eyes returned back to its darker shade of blue and he closed them, instantly slipping back into unconsciousness.

Riku stepped out of the shadows and headed towards the slumped figure on the beach. It killed him to see Sora mourn. But he knew that for Roxas, who lived trapped inside as a shadow of Sora's soul, there were a lot of tears for him left unshed for the nobody he would have given his heart to, if he had one to give away.

Picking Sora up gently in his arms, he headed towards the beach hut they shared now.

He knew that Sora would not remember all that had happened when dawn broke, but the nightly incidences were becoming less and less frequent over the past few months. It was as if the pain was finally fading away.

Riku entered the hut and laid the sleeping boy onto his bed, before lying down beside him. Riku closed his eyes and held onto Sora gently as he soon drifted into sleep.


End file.
